List of fights in this episode:
  1. Backlash vs. Burning Metal
  2. Wee Willie Wedgie vs. Little Drummer Boy
  3. M.O.E. vs. Stealth Terminator
  4. Slap 'Em Silly vs. Rambite 2.0
 


Pre-review comments for episode 2:


Backlash vs. Burning Metal

Well, it's certainly been a long time since we last saw this little bot. Backlash is a small tilted box (no more triangle) with two bigger unprotected wheels in the front and a couple little baby wheels in the back. There are some horn-looking things that I suspect are guards for the big vertical spinning disk weapon that dominates the bot. The disk is machined just like that of her bigger sister Nightmare. A slick bot indeed. Burning Metal is not quite as slick. It's a small two wheeled box with a couple weak looking metal/lexan pieces sticking off the front that form a sparse wedge. (The boyfriend says it looks like Tinkertoys, but I think it's more of a junior level Erector Set).

OK RFT. Both bots come out of their boxes and Backlash puts a hit on Burning Metal with the spinning disc. Burning Metal goes flying over on his back, and then Backlash immediately gets in another hit with the blade before Burning Metal can even register that he's on his back. Burning Metal does another somersault and then immediately runs away in a state of sheer terror. It appears that Burning Metal has become so frightened that he has forgotten how to steer himself and he ends up driving directly back into the disc. Parts fly. Ouch. OK, Burning Metal is looking very expired, but Backlash is not about to give up her fun yet. Backlash continues with some love taps, then spins down and starts nudging Burning Metal over to the saws. Saws pop and don't really damage the already dead Burning Metal. Backlash is looking over her accomplishment, then spins up and removes one of the flimsy wedge arms from Burning Metal, just because she can. Refs finally finish counting out Burning Metal as Backlash spins in the victory dance. Game over for Burning Metal.


Wee Willie Wedgie vs. Little Drummer Boy

Ooooh. Another bot we've never seen before! Wow! Wait, I've seen this bot before. Well, maybe it was just a bot that looks like this one. That's not hard, as Wee Willie Wedgie is simply a generic two-wheeled wedge. During the intro they've got it wearing underwear. Anything to get to the top of the heap I guess (my gut feeling is that since it's a little gimmick, this bot is a little sucky). Little Drummer Boy looks like it's had some major enhancement surgery since last year. We've now got big wheel guards, and the plain box now has skirts on the back, behind the guards. The front of the bot is still taken up by the big spinning drum.

OK RFT. Bots exit their boxes, and Wee Willie Wedgie immediately goes on the offensive, attempting to get under Little Drummer Boy with the wedge. It might have been better if Wee Willie Wedgie had tried this on the side of the bot, instead of on the front, where the wedge gets exposed to the drum. The bots are separated now, and I think that Wee Willie Wedgie might want to take off his sunglasses or something while in the battlebox, since he appears to be driving at random. Or maybe he actually needs glasses, because his aim at Little Drummer Boy is kind of bad. Now he finally correctly spots his target and starts with the wedge on the drum again. I'm not sure about this strategy. Now we've got Wee Willie Wedgie driving around popping wheelies. Little Drummer Boy smacks into the side of the Wee Willie Wedgie, and sends him flying. Wee Willie Wedgie better watch out, else he's going to come down with nasty wheel. OK, we're back to wedge on drum. Nice sparks. We've got our first bot tango this year, and now we're all stopped and checking each other out. Wedge meets drum. Drum meets wheel. Wee Willie Wedgie flips over and meets the floor. Little Drummer Boy is excitingly skittering around the now very still Wee Willie Wedgie. Little Drummer Boy puts a hit on Wee Willie Wedgie's wheel, sending him flying onto the pistons. Pop. Wee Willie Wedgie continues to be still. Little Drummer Boy puts another hit on the wheel, Wee Willie Wedgie takes another flight across the batllebox. Wee Willie Wedgie suddenly comes back to life, and attempts a retreat. Little Drummer Boy says "Not so fast, mate!" and goes and puts another hit on Wee Willie Wedgie's wheel. Oof. Wee Willie Wedgie goes bouncing around the box like a lottery ping-pong ball, eventually ending up completely piggybacked on top of Little Drummer Boy while Little Drummer Boy takes an extended beating from the saws. Little Drummer Boy seems suprised to find her opponent in this position, and wanders around a bit trying to decide what to do with her new prize. Little Drummer Boy goes for the hammer. Visions of Killer B dance through my head. It looks like Little Drummer Boy is trying to position herself such that the hammer will hit only Wee Willie Wedgie but, I mean come on, Wee Willie Wedgie is smack on top of her. And yup, there's the hammer hit to Little Drummer Boy. Not smart. Ok, here's a couple hits to Wee Willie Wedgie (and Little Drummer Boy who is still underneath), and finally Wee Willie Wedgie falls off his opponent's back and is still for good. Ref counts down. Game over.


M.O.E. vs. Stealth Terminator

M.O.E. looks very much like the M.O.E. of last year, except that the ditch cutter appears to have been on growth hormones. Stealth Terminator is similar to last year as well, a black box with skirts, a lifter arm, and an Ah-nold doll.

OK, RFT. M.O.E. comes out of the box and immediately puts about a half dozen hits on Stealth Terminator, sending bits of black armor flying every which way around the box. Stealth Terminator lifts air, because there's no way he's getting close enough to M.O.E. to actually lift that bot with that mediocre lifter arm. Uh oh. The ditch cutter's looking kind of slow. This bodes ill for M.O.E.. In fact, the fight does a 180 almost immediately. Here comes Stealth Terminator with the lifter arm under the ditch cutter. Lift. There goes M.O.E. up on his back wheels. Stealth Terminator leads M.O.E. around for a while before dropping him. For the next minute or so we've got Stealth Terminator continually annoying M.O.E. with hits and partial lifts with the arm. All this is certainly not going to damage M.O.E. anymore than he already is, but it is scoring points for Stealth Terminator. M.O.E. tries to push Stealth Terminator (I mean really, there's nothing much more he can do) but I think Stealth Terminator wins the pushing match. M.O.E. better come up with something else, fast, lest he lose to what I consider the inferior bot. As I begin to despair for M.O.E., the ditch cutter jumps back to life and the fight immediately flips back to the M.O.E. show. M.O.E. starts removing more armor from Stealth Terminator but unfortunately, there are only about 3 seconds left in the fight. Buzzer sounds as Stealth Terminator armor rains down.

<attemptAtIntelligence> This one's going to be close. I think you'd be hard pressed to find many people who would say that Stealth Terminator was the superior bot in this match, but face it, M.O.E. lost his weapon, and there just wasn't anything there when it was gone. The question is whether M.O.E. managed to cause enough damage to Stealth Terminator before he lost the cutter to win the fight. I really don't know. Stealth Terminator escaped fully functional, albeit with less armor. I personally vote for M.O.E. because I think he's the better bot, but the judges disagree. 24-21 in a close decision for Stealth Terminator. </attemptAtIntelligence>


Slap 'Em Silly vs. Rambite 2.0

We've got Slap 'Em Silly now. No matter how many fights this bot wins, it will always be the ebay bot to me. Slap 'Em Silly looks the same as he did year, a flat box with a wedge on one side and a tail on the other. Rambite 2.0 is a frenzy-shaped round bot, but instead of the long hammer there's a curved spinner blade with some small hammers at the end. Andy Sauro says he's worried and thinks he's going to be destroyed. If history continues as it has for the past couple of seasons, Slap 'Em Silly will be shards within seconds.

OK RFT. Slap 'Em Silly leaves his square as Rambite 2.0 spins the blade up to speed. We've got Rambite 2.0 spun to speed now and Slap 'Em Silly checking out the scene. Slap 'Em Silly throws all care to the wind, takes a deep breath, and puts a hit on Rambite 2.0. Rambite 2.0 immediately pulls a mauler, and goes spinning and bouncing out of control halfway across the battlebox. Looks like history is going to be rewritten. Amazingly, Rambite 2.0 lands right side up. Rambite 2.0 tries to spin the blade but Slap 'Em Silly is right there and gets the wedge under him and slams Rambite 2.0 into the spikes. Needless to say, Rambite 2.0's blade is stopped right about now. Slap 'Em Silly gets under Rambite 2.0 and takes him to the saws. Zzzzzz! Slap 'Em Silly gets under Rambite 2.0 and takes him to the hammer. Pow! Rambite 2.0 finally comes to the conclusion that he needs to be away from Slap 'Em Silly to spin his blade to speed. A retreat is attempted but Slap 'Em Silly is having none of this and gets under Rambite 2.0 again with the wedge, and pushes him around. Rambite 2.0 tries the retreat thing again with a bit more success this time as he gets the blade up to somewhat speed before Slap 'Em Silly descends. Well it appears that Rambite 2.0 is not very stable if he gets hit while the blade is at speed. Slap 'Em Silly gets the wedge under him and he's immediately inverted on his back. This is almost certainly death for a spinner blade bot like Rambite 2.0. WHOAH! Wait, I've got to watch this again.....WHOAH! OK, we've got Rambite 2.0 on his back. He starts to spin the blade up to speed while inverted, causing him to go all gyroscope and banging around, and then he starts to spin up on his side and then, WHAP! he falls down right side up. I can't put into words how cool that looked. Rambite 2.0 skitters across the floor with Slap 'Em Silly in hot pursuit, and travels over the pistons. Pete restrains himself until Slap 'Em Silly follows across a couple seconds later. Pop! Slap 'Em Silly slams Rambite 2.0 into the spikes then travels back across the pistons. Pop! Rambite 2.0 is still trying the retreat thing and travels oh so slowly across the saws. Pop! Pete activates the pistons. No, there wasn't a bot there. Rambite 2.0 succeeds in getting the blade spinning again, and then presses his luck with the saws again. His luck runs out. Zzzzzz...whoosh! WHOAH! Wait, I've got to watch this again....WHOAH! Rambite 2.0 goes flying about 30 feet over into the far corner of the box near the pulverizer. I'm glad I have a VCR so I can watch stuff like this over and over because the actual fighting part of the fight is kind of low on the entertainment scale. Now Slap 'Em Silly comes over to where Rambite 2.0 landed and pushes him under the hammer. (I notice that the yellow spot marking the bulls-eye is missing this year). Pow! Bam! Massive hit to Rambite 2.0, who goes bouncing around again. I have to admit that was actually entertaining as well. There's a futile attempt at retreat, but Slap 'Em Silly is right there with the wedge again and pushes Rambite 2.0 to the saws. Zzzzzzzz. Sparks. Damage. Slap 'Em Silly is with the wedge and pushes Rambite 2.0 clear across the box to the hammer again. Pow! That wasn't as entertaining as the last hammer hit. Slap 'Em Silly is with the wedge and delivers Rambite 2.0 to the screw. The screw is different this year, the two sides are threaded in opposite directions. It makes me dizzy to look at them for too long. Now Rambite 2.0 drives himself into the other screw. Oof. Is this over yet? Slap 'Em Silly is with the wedge and brings Rambite 2.0 to the pistons. Pop! Slap 'Em Silly is with the wedge and brings Rambite 2.0 to the saws. Zzzzzz. No sparks. Damage? Does it really matter? Is this over yet? Slap 'Em Silly is with the wedge and brings Rambite 2.0 to the other set of saws. Rambite 2.0 ends up between the two pairs of saws. Zzzzzz. No sparks. No damage. Buzzer sounds to indicate that yes, this is finally over. We get to see the ref raise Andy Sauro's hand in victory, but we don't hear the score. At least I didn't. Might as well be 45-0.